summer is winding down to an end, and the dreaded sighs of children heading
back to school can be heard in the distance, I felt that it was only
appropriate to give one last tribute to summer. People chose to spend their
summer in various ways. Some travel, others participate in community service
activities, while some just sit around and do nothing. I spent my summer before starting my
freshman year at MC working as a lifeguard.
I must agree that having worked in many different work environments
lifeguarding is definitely one of the more tolerable jobs. However, please note
that I say tolerable and not easy or enjoyable. They say that to respect what
one goes through you must walk a mile in their shoes. So I have compiled a list of the top ten
things that pool patrons do on a regular basis that are simply annoying. Yes, a
majority of our job consists of sitting in a chair all day, but maybe you will
have more respect after reading this.
10) Complaining about
how dirty the pool is
pool is one of the many beautiful pools that are located in an outdoor setting.
So when you inform us that there are bugs or leaves in the pool, please note
that we are well aware of this. Mother Nature is one of our biggest sponsors
who has contributed countless trees, grass, and various crawly critters. If
this is an issue for you please consider becoming a member at one of your many
indoor pools in the area.
9) Adult Swim (aka
break or more commonly known as adult swim is designed primarily to give
children under a certain age a break from swimming so they can rest and recoup.
So please refrain from asking us if this rule applies to you just because
you’re the only ones at the pool or from “accidently” slipping in. We
understand that parents use the pool as a tool to tire their children. But at
the same time continual intake of water also leads to children vomiting in the
pool; which we as lifeguards extremely enjoy cleaning up.
8) Asking if we are
open during a storm
obvious precautionary reasons our pools close for a period of time if there are
certain weather occurrences such as, but not limited to: heavy rain, thunder,
lightning, tornados, hurricanes, hail, etc. Please refrain from calling the
pool during times like these to ask if we are open. If you feel the need to
call and ask, we most likely are not.
7) Asking obnoxious
am a blonde so I understand the occasional dumb question, but there are certain
ones that push it to far. Please do not ask us what time it is when there is a
clock sitting over top of our head. Please do not ask us if it is kid swim if
there are already ten children in the pool. And please do not ask us if the
water is deep when it is labeled right where you are standing.
we understand that the ice cream man is very exciting but he will wait for you
to bring him your money, don’t worry. As lifeguards we are certified in First
Aid, but that does not mean we wish to patch up your head when you do a face
plant into the ground tripping over your own feet.
5) Not Flushing
the old adage goes, “if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and clean
the seatie”. Our job as a lifeguard also doubles as a janitor. So all the
goodies that you leave behind for us, just remember that we get to clean it up.
4) Not wearing a
you were unaware of this before, clothes that become wet stick to you and
become see through at times. So we advise that you stay away from certain
colors, specifically white. You may be comfortable with your body, but that
does not mean that others at the pool wish to see certain parts of you.
3) Pool Rats
pool is open 6 days out of the week from 12-8. This does not mean that you are
required to be here for that period of time. If you know all the lifeguards by
name, your skin is starting to resemble leather, and/or you eat your
lunch/dinner at the pool you are spending way too much time here, and
should consider finding a hobby.
2) Not watching your
you wish to pay us under the table, no we are not a babysitting service. We
understand that you as parents are busy, but the pool is not a place to conduct
your business, catch up on your reading, or listen to the latest jams if your
child does not understand the concept of swimming. Children are not buoyant in
water, and will sink. In addition if children barley listen to their parents,
as I’m sure you are well aware, what makes you think they will listen to us?
1) Being the only one
in the pool
doesn’t matter if you are two years old or ninety-nine. It doesn’t matter if
you swim like a brick in water or were an Olympic swimmer. If you are in the
water we are up in the chair, watching you! So the best way to become best
friends with your neighborhood lifeguard is to make sure you get in the water
when absolutely no one is in. And if you really want to make them happy you
should just stand in the water like a floating duck.
This is my roast to summer. The
90-100 degree weather still dwindles in the air, and I must say that Labor Day
could not come soon enough.