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When it Rains it Hails

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     I can remember a time when I couldn’t tell the difference between small comforts and luxuries. I thought that I could survive happily with just about any hint of comfort. It’s funny how life’s priorities change. They change with circumstance and one’s mindset.

As pointed on previously, I’m in sort of a transition. . . not still a larvae, not quite a moth (definitely no butterfly). . . The long and the short of it is that the cushy, lucrative student position I’ve enjoyed for the past few years is coming to an end and this realization has me evaluating my expenses as I search for new employment.

     Firstly, being in a relationship is expensive especially when you live together. The biggest fact of the matter is that it’s entirely unethical to drag someone you care about down with you because you’ve fallen into a lower economic status. I’m saying this because if I were single, I would definitely have a different mindset about the situation. Heck, a younger, more single Isaac would look at this as a chance for ground up reinvention. Instead of being caught in an office where I’ve felt like my eyeballs were being progressively burned out by computer screens daily, I could who knows, teach music, find writing gigs (thanks student life blog for the “writing experience”), become a world class sign twirler. . . heck go build houses as part of a charity organization. I’m not single though and I don’t want to be so I’ve got to temper enthusiasm for change with a solid sense of a modicum of, if not altruism then surely the common sense of knowing when I’ve got a good thing going. In the end if we’re not loved then what are we?

    Second, I love living in a space that is at least somewhat my own. A bed that’s not someone else’s living room couch, private, hot showers, someplace to cook a hot meal. I’ve come to grow accustomed to a comfortable home. Could I go back to a life of couch surfing, short term room rentals and/or the occasional night in flat bed my little hatchback? Sure, but per my first evaluation I couldn’t drag someone else into this and frankly I’ve come to appreciate the centeredness of having a place to call home.

    It’s just funny the way that life twists (or twists the knife) and when it rains it pours and sometimes it hails. It’s up to us to decide whether we need a raincoat or a life raft. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to this specific set of challenges, but keeping one’s head in the sand is rarely of any help and neither is simply turning back and falling into old trappings      


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